Sunday, August 31, 2008

Tag... :)

I had promised someone that I will answer the tag as soon as I am sure of all the answers. I don't know if that would ever come. But now seems as good a time as any. So here is goes...

Biggest Joy at the moment: The fact that I have rediscovered what life is all about. I have realized the futility of all that I had undergone the past couple of weeks. The fact that I'm ready to go out and achieve what I want to.

Biggest Insecurity at the moment: I hope that its not a false dawn. Let the resistance not crumble again. What if I don't achieve what i want to?

One thing you could undo if given an option: Ahh... probably would go back and take commerce in 11th. I guess that would pretty much sort everything out. Would have then gone on to either DU or done law.

5 things life taught you the hard way:
  1. Life gives you only one chance at somethings, if you miss that, that's it, you have missed it.
  2. Don't assume that everyone thinks like you do.
  3. In relationships, giving your 100% may not be sufficient.
  4. Don't give so much importance to someone that you can't live without them.
  5. People whom you least expect would hurt you the most.
5 people who make life kickass (except family): A couple of old school friends, a close female friend, and my close group of college friends....

What are the qualities you imagine in your dream gal: I don't want to answer this... and you know why...

One thing you wanna tell the world in general: Live this life to the fullest. You have got only one shot at it. Let there be no regrets. And most importantly live it for yourself, as you want it.

And now i pass on the tag to Piper, Marvin and Prabhu ...

The Age of the Phoenix


Phoenix symbolizes immortality, the ability to resurrect, to rise from its own ashes. For a long time I have made people a priority in life, people for whom I wasn't a priority, but an option. For too long a time I have lived my life for such people. But today it all changes. From now on I will live for those for whom I am a priority. More than anything, I will live for myself.

A phoenix, when it burns, symbolizes leaving the past behind, marking a new beginning. Today I hail the beginning of the Age of the Phoenix. Some people have tried breaking me, breaking my spirit. They took away my dreams but they weren't able to break my spirit. Today I leave all that behind to start a journey, the sole aim of which, is pursuit of my endeavours.

The Renaissance begins..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Day 13: 29th August 2008

Ahh my faithful readers... you would have thought that just when it was getting interesting, I didn't show up... naah don't worry... am not going to leave you in there... without any quality crap accounts to read :P...

So the question seems inevitable.. why am i so late.. the reason is the pathetic internet of my college... I couldn't log into blogger! blah...

Anyways so day 13... hmmm again characterized by a lot of wasitng of time... nowadays it seems as if time itself has stopped... i mean the dates keep changing but then nothing else does! its as if we have been suspended in a very thick medium... we are just not moving... nothign seems to matter... nor does it make a difference.. somehow this has to change... i don't like living life this way... and it IS going to change... starting today... right as of this moment I have decided that this would be the last post under the series... you might still get to hear my daily accounts but they would be different, they have to be different...

anyways back to day 13... apart from attending a lecture and a meeting of the long forgotten press club, i don't think i did anything wort mentioning yesterday...

so that is that...

n-13 days to go...

ohh no.. hold it hold it... its over... the countdown ends.....

0
days to go...

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Conversation

As promised ( i happen to be quite good at keeping them btw :P ), here is the conversation... a conversation between two persons, virtual strangers, brought together by chance, by quirk of fate...

[A]: interesting blog...

[R]: thnks...
so wat u doing these days?

[A]: law....

[R]: hmmm k... which law skl? nd how many yrs more till u become a lawyer...

[A]: i m in National Law University, Jodhpur, n arnd 2 yrs to become a lawyer....

[R]: was jus browsin through ur blog.. there seems to be a lot of anger and disappointment, disillusionment maybe, in there... i know how it can feel.. jus recovered from a similar phase myself... but guess the betrayal is much stronger in ur case...

[A]: yes it is.. but there is still hope to see the brighter side....

[R]: ahh.. thats good..

[A]: but havn't been lucky till now...

[R]: for the past several days, have been trying to convinve myself to stop wasting life... you only get one shot at it... seems logical and reasonable... but somehow cant implement it... the day ones does it... that when we get lucky...

[A]: n everyone wants that day to come soon.. but is not easy to deal your own self with an iron hand...

[R]: agreed...

[A]: so we still looking for the solution....

[R]: isnt life all about looking for a soluiton?there always are problems... and we always look for solutions... if the problems end, so does life...

[A]: true... but once in a while forgetting every problem is more desirable...

[R]: forgetting a problem doesn't make it go away...

[A]: not forgetting rather keeping aside for a while....

[R]: hmm.. that should help.. clearing your mind of all the clutter there is...

[A]: yes... n the sparkling liquid in the bottle with red cap does it the best....

[R]: haha... absolutely...

Day 12: 28th August 2008

It came and would have gone without bothering me had it not been for two facts:
a.) it was dad's bday...
b.) had an interesting conversation. (yeah another one.. these days it seems all i am doing is having conversations, inconsequential or interesting, doesn't matter :P.. )

My inverse routine coninued for the 2nd consectuive day: sleeping time: 10 am... wake up time: 8:30 pm...

have asked kaka to sudharofy his pota and he has consented... something to look forward to at last .. :)

apart from all this it was just another waste of time day.. God i must be the biggest idiot alive.. realizing am wasting time and not doing anything about it...

And yeah am going to post that conversation of mine here... most probably in the next few mins ( internet gods willing... )

I still have to answer a tag that i have agreed to answer.. but want to do justice with it.. answer as truthfully as i can.. so you know.. just hang on..

And how can i forget... health is improving :) :)

n-12 days to go...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Day 11: 27th August 2008

Now this is interesting... a few days back i had decided to change my schedule, so as to gradually adjust to the timing of the test on the D- day because as of now, my mind ain't at its peak during 10 am - 1 pm to slot. And since IIMs aren't going to conduct CAT at 3 in the morning, the only option for me was to change. Well I did manage to change my schedule but there's a slight twist here... yesterday i slept at 12 pm and woke at 8 pm :S

So that's wat day 11 was pretty much all about... sleeping :D .. though did manage 15 mins of studies :satan: and some gruellling accounting work...

n-11 days to go...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Day 10: 26th August 2008

Baah.. that's the word for this day.. the dreaded common cold has arrived :( ... the giant drums from the Beijing's bird nest have been transferred to their new location... my head... and my tummy thinks its a good time to throw some tantrums too... :( :(

Why do I fall sick everytime the season changes ...

Had slept early in the night owing to the meds.. woke up at 8ish... filled my CAT form.. the only worthwhile thing i did in the day btw... was looking fwd to Shiv's lecture when i got to know that it has been cancelled..

thnx to a good soul named Mundra... didnt have to go to ahmedabad to deposit the CAT form.. another highlight of an otherwise forgettable day... you rock dude :)

assured that the from was in safe hands, slept off again.. courtesy the meds once more...

from evening to midnight... don't really know what i did... watched some episodes of 24... dinner time came and went.. with my bad luck again prevented me from having what i had desired... baah.. that sounds too corny :P

anyways settled for another junk meal..... have been doing that for last 3 days... junk junk and junk.. barring today's breakfast of course.. aloo ki sabzi and puri... yummm :)

The net's been screwed all day.. can't even book my damm ticket...

that pretty much sums it up.. i kno its quite long.. and not very interesting.. but then i don't care.. i write for myself.. and i write what i want.. if you have a problem with that, that's exactly what it is... your problem!

n-10 days to go...

Things I hate...

Ah... the list is quite varied and long... and I can never expect myself to be able to compile it in its entirety.. but here's what has been bothering me a lot recently..

Mobiles: Thsi technological wonder has solved a lot of problems, but has created some too. The problems that it creates are not actually it's fault, it is the people who use cell phones who are to blame. Manners and courtesy are many a times thrown out of the window without even realizing. And its not that am just repeating what I have read here and there... its what you get to experience daily that causes you this much discomfort. Why don't people realize that their conversations over the phone might bother those around them, and have the courtesy to go outside the room and attend that all important call during which any and everything ranging from stock prices to phone recharge to your food habits are discussed? It just gets disgusting after a point of time to bear with all this crap.

Eating styles: Now don't get me wrong here. I don't give a shit whether you are a veggie or a non veggie, spend most of your day eating junk and have the unhealthiest possible eating habits. Its the manner in which you eat, that is a problem. Chips manufacturers advertise their products to be crunchy, but that doesn't give you a right to eat it while producing a loud crunch crunch sound.. hell even the bovines are better than this; even they don't produce this much sound!

thats it for the time being... let something happen that pisses me of more, and i'll give my 2 cents to it...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Day 9: 25th August 2008

Just another day.. routine... boring... no studies... feeling totally wasted right now.. and on top of it all, feels like my persistent annoyer, the dreaded zukaam is going to catch up with me .. :(

Don't even feel lik writing anythin..

n-9 days to go...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Day 8: 24th August 2008

Hmm... my regular post is delayed a bit today as was busy with some work in the field of high finance :P . Anyways who cares? As if you have been checking my blog since midnight, waiting for this post to arrive!

God, its already been eight days! It can be a small time or a long duration depending upon how you look at it. Over the lasty couple of days have managed to convince myself of my course of action.

Day 8 was a bit different. An AIMCAT, followed by solid four hours of sleep, and finally a quiz. Must say it was refreshing to attend one after such a long time. It was a bit hectic what with all the finance work thrown in. And things not looking any better for today. Have got two submissions and a test and yah CAT preparation is always there, if I choose to acknowledge its existence!

That reminds me, even started filling the CAT form yesterday. Have to wind that up too. And oh how can i forget the inconsequential phone conversation!!

Anyways have to go now. Assignments are waiting, a test is looming...

n-8 days to go...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

A Conversation of Inconsequence

Imagine an inconsequential conversation, with people whom you can't refuse to talk coz of social obligations, a conversation which for you holds no meaning, is irrelevant in the scheme of things. A conversation during which you would be asked a lot of questions that you would be forced to answer; a conversation during which people would try to gauge your physical and emotional well being through these questions. The questions seem to go on and on, even when your answers get shorter and shorter till they are reduced to being mere monosyllables.

They don't realize that there isn't a lot that I can tell them, can I? How would they understand, for they have never experienced what I am experiencing? It just blows my lid when I have to carry on these conversations, forced to carry on because the norm of the society would deem it inappropriate if I don't. Not that I give a damm about that, but then some things are just meant to be.

Day 7: 23rd August 2008

Ahh.. midnight... its fast becoming my favourite time of the day as i look forward to add something to my chronicles...

yesterday was day 7... and well a tough one... i nearly broke the promise i had made to myself.. but somehow.. it didn't happen.. whether it was for the good or the bad.. only time will tell...

have to go now.. promised someone I am going to comment once the meaning of her most recent post sinks in...

till tomorrow..

n-7 days to go..

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Day 6: 22nd August 2008

Ahh.. now here's what I like most about college life... its keeps moving... the 24 hour time limit of a day doesn't seem to bother the continuous flow of time.. yesterday was one such day.. (i know i know its paradoxical :) ).

Around my usual sleeping time (read 5 am) was pondering over my life.. my future.. my last AIMCAT %ile was bad.. so needed something to cheer me up.. decided to give a mock.. hadn't been able to tak AIMCAT 0912 for some reasons... and had heard that it was quite easy.. so well at 5:30 i started my test and finished at 8..

by now it was way past my sleeping time.. so i thought what the heck.. lets get some work done.. and will sleep after Devy's lecture.. submitted an application for my CPI certification thingie.. went to the bank with DM saab to get our internet banking pwd.. (ahh.. that reminds me.. forgot to book my tickets.. shit!)

anyways.. post all this went to attend Devy's lecture at the end of which I managed to get myself a book to be read till monday.. baah.. And then i slept.. :D

This is an addition to the post.. I realized even though I slept in the afternoon, the fresher's I attended still technically happened yesterday.. so well.. had to mention it..

I have actually started to look forward to these daily chronicles.. somehow they provide a semblance of control where there is none..

Anyways I have to be honest here... this might as well be the last.. nobody knows for sure..

I was born on a Saturday
Today too is a Saturday
And it will change my life either way..
n-6 days to go..

Friday, August 22, 2008

Day 5: 21st August 2008

Things have started falling into a pattern. Someone needs to realize I am in no shape of providing emotional support at the moment.

n-5 days to go..

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Day 4: 20th August 2008

I so love normal days!! But as it happens to be.. they are a rarity in my life! The only good thing about today was that managed to put in a couple of hours of study. Not enough i know.. but at least its a beginning...

The dreams continue to torment.. but.. I will survive!!

n-4 days to go...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Day3: 19th August 2008

Ahh.. a strange day.. in many ways.. had a couple of interesting phone conversations... one with an old friend.. who in a way is responsible for my recent activity :) ... and another during which well lets just say, got to hear some real nice stuff :D

But then it was tough.. seeing someone online jus does something.. and then there are the dreams that just refuse to go away...

Another weird thing.. like a good boy went to the RC to study.. only to find it closed :S... reason: it was a holiday.. baah

n-3 days to go..

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Something worth remembering

From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.

Anais Nin

Day 2: 18th August 2008

The 2nd day is over. Pretty much like the first one. Blogged after a long time. For those interested in symbolism, the link is broken. Started with analysis of the papers..

n-2 days to go...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Answering that Tag...

Once upon a time there lived a guy called Lanky ( i guess he's still alive! ;) ). When the world was young and the Sun shone bright he tagged Piper who dutifully accepted it. Piper in turn tagged me, but then I wasn't seen in blogosphere for a looonnnnnnnnngggg time. Now that I am back, and have nothing else to do, I will accept that tag and give my 2 cents to whatever crap is being talked about.. :)

Last movie seen in theatre: Dark Knight... simply awesome... Nolan rules!!

Book being read: Not in our genes by R.C. Lewontin, Steven Rose, Leon J. Kamin; Yuganta by Irawati Karve.

Favourite Board Game: snakes and ladders, known as sanp seedhi in local dialect. Ludo is a close second followed by chess, a distant third.

Favourite magazine: Reader's Digest.

Favourite smells: the aroma originating from mom's kitchen and that of fresh rain.

Favourite sounds: Ummm.. Ummm... Can't think of any!!

What is the first thing you think when you wake up: What is it time to get up already?

Worst feeling in the world: Not being able to cry when you really want to...

Favourite fast food place: a lounge called mr. beans in Jaipur. Among the internationally renowned ones, McD...

Future child's name: know what Piper? you aren't the only silly one around! And no am not answering this..

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d.. spend it!!

Do you drive fast? yeah..

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal nope... never have in fact.

Storms- cool or scary? cool...

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? huh? what was that..?

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? hmm i guess auburn..

All towns/cities you have lived in jaipur and gandhinagar. Want to experience Pune and Blore at least!!

Favourite Sport to watch: Cricket!!! And not only T20.. ODIs... test matches.. anything would do... God bless Star ppl for coming up with Star Cricket!!

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you I don lie on my blog :P

What’s under your bed? broken slippers, discarded shoes, some wrappers and lot of dirt.

Would you like to be born as yourself again? yeah..

Morning person or night owl? is morning the time when the sky starts brightening just before I go to sleep?

Over easy or sunny side up? yeah angrezon vaale sawaal puchna band karo...

Favourite place to relax: my living room..

Favourite pie: Again my predicament is like Piper's.. aware only of chocolate pie.. so by default that's the facourite..

Favourite Ice Cream: Butterscotch and choco-chips... love them!

Ahh.. the bad thing about accepting a tag so late in the day is that almost everyone you know has already been tagged... Hmmm.. Wait I guess Chadda is left!!! So here it goes.. I pass on the tag to Chadda!! :satan:

Day 1 : 17th August 2008



Yesterday was the first day. Wasn't as tough as i had thought it would be. Wrote an AIMCAT, pathetic performance, read, slept, ate a bit... n-1 more days to go.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

All You Need is Perspective

Over the last few days, had a couple of conversations with people who were similar to one another, yet so different. Its keeping those conversations in backgorund that I put forth my take on the things that one takes for grnated in life, or in other words one's outlook towards life.

Ohk so before me move further, lets get some things clarified. The focus group, for the want of a better term, of this post is that of Indian students in their late teens and early twenties. The views that follow are mine, though as metnioned above, are influenced by my recent experiences. And finally, if you think you disagree, you are most welcome to share your thoughts.

Life is a journey, and during this journey we travel along a road that's unique for each one of us. The places that this road take us to are to an extent in our hands, for it can not be denied that we make our own destiny. However more often than not, the people who shape their own destiny are far outnumbered by those who are just happy to trudge along the road. They wander aimlessly on this road of life. During this journey called life, we experience a lot of things, some good some not so good. All is hunky dory as long as the experiences are good, but the real test comes when things aren't to our liking, when the going is tough. Its then that the true nature of individuals and indeed a society is revealed.

Lets consider a scenario. Most of us fail in one thing or the other. And its through these failures that we learn and indeed succeed in due course of time. Had everything been like this, life would have been so simple. Alas, it isn't so simple. No matter how successful we are, no matter what our accompalishments be, we'll find excuses to crib about things. 'Man I am such a loser, I didn't make it to the IIMs' , 'I have not been granted schloarship from MIT, i have failed my parents' are some of the common utterances of today's youth. Be it academic failure or heartbreak in a relationship, we tend to think of ourselves as the worst off person in the world. So much so that we aren't ready to listen when somebody tries to show us that all's not lost and life still has meaning. Its then that we really need to reflect and decide, are we really in such a pathetic condition? I think not.

In pursuit of materialistic goals we have neglected things that really matter in life, things that we take for granted. The next time you start to say that life couldn't be worse, pause for a moment and think, is my life in such shambles, that no matter what happens, my condition can't get any worse? If your answer is yes, then you need a reality check.

When was the last you acknowledged your family's support and indeed felt secure knowing that no matter what happens, my parents would always be there for me? Now think of all those millions who do not have families or whose parents don't love them. When you pray next, say thanks to God for your family.

Money is another factor that makes us crib a lot. It deosn't matter if we are wearing branded clothes, sporting a new cell phone and driving a fast bike. If there is something that we want but don't have money for, we'll crib. The next time you complain about something similar think of all those who don't have enough money to feed their families.

I don't want to sound all philosophical and say that since we are better than a lot of people we shouldn't be ambitious. No that's not the point. Being ambitious is a good thing but its also necessary to realize that these things are not the end of the world. Failure in an examination doesn't make you a total loser. As long as you are learning from you past mistakes, its enough.

Sometimes all what's needed is to put things in perspective.

Friday, August 15, 2008

End of an Era


Come Monday and the world of tennis fans would be engulfed in two contrasting emotions. For a large number it would be day of heartbreak, but for an equally large group, it would be a day of rejoice. Monday, 18th August 2008, marks the end of an era in the world of tennis, an era that we have been fortunate to witness. After nearly four and a half years of domination, for the most part of which he was unchallenged, Roger Federer would hand over he number one spot to his nemesis, Rafael Nadal.

This Monday we would witness something that had seemed impossible at the end of the previous year. Federer had ended 2007 by winning the Masters in addtion to his usual troika of Grand Slams; being defied only in Paris by the sultan of clay, Rafael Nadal. Rafael Nadal, it seemed was destined to be the number two forever. In fact he faced the danger of losing that spot to Djokovich.


However as 2008 dawned a different Rafa emerged from what we had known. He had added to his armoury a deadly backhand slice, he was even more focussed and more adapted to play at grass. At wimbledon he ended Federer's reign at grass and symbolically that in itself was the signal for the change of guard. ATP rankings and points were mere formalities, an official confirmation of what we all had known; Rafa had truly arrived! Even the most ardent Federer supporters would acknowledge, that if there was a person who deserved to dislodge Federer, it was Nadal.

Nobody is quite sure what led to Federer's decline. Some attribute it to a viral infection, some to slowing of reflexes and some simply to lack of motivation. Whatever may be the reason, it would be premature to write off the genius that Federer is. He will bounce back though it seems highly unlikely, if not impossible , that he would be able to dominate like he did in the last four and a half years.